That's just the way it is..

     We have the honor of living close to a kitschy local tourist attraction. No, it's not a huge ball of twine. It's.... The Shoe House. The magical allure of this structure lost its appeal rather quickly after we settled in. At first the kids would shout out with delight every time we drove by. Later they would hardly give it a second glance.

     A rather funny thing happened a few weeks ago. I was on my way to an appointment and in a hurry. Of course, this was the very morning that several out of state vehicles were crowded along our rural road because after all this is THE Shoe House!

     I muttered under my breath cursing these tourists and their rubbernecking revelry over this Shoe House. I was running a little late and totally engrossed in maneuvering around a huge touring edition van when my youngest shouts out in indignation from the back seat "Don't they know this is here EVERY DAY!!"

     He was very confused when I started laughing as I told him "No honey, this is probably the first time they ever saw it." He pondered this for only a moment before his attention was moved to a tiny pony in a neighboring field which he was sure had to be Tro Tro.


     It got me thinking later about all of the Shoe Houses we drive by every day oblivious to the novelty and wonder of it all. I remember another documentary I watched about Russian orphans and my horrified reaction as people stepped over and around these tiny little boys sleeping in a train station. I couldn't believe that no one stopped to talk to them or scoop them up into their arms. Then it dawned on me that to them this is an every day reality. They are accustomed to seeing this.

     It is easy to think about things that are wrong in the world when you see them with fresh untired eyes.  When we are confronted daily with these same things they become "just the way things are".  It's easy to feel bad for orphans from time to time but I guarantee your world will be shattered when you see their little faces and look into their pleading eyes.

     Lord I pray you will never close my eyes to the need in others. I hope I always see things with eyes fresh and new even when I'm in a hurry and caught up in my own drama. Give me the heart to care and the energy to always be your hands reaching out.

     Please take a moment to look at our boys. We hope to travel very soon on our first trip to meet them. Please help if you can. If you can't donate please pray or share. If you visit our site take a moment to look at all of the other children waiting for someone to SEE them.

Be blessed.

Patience Grasshopper

     Yesterday I felt like Mount Saint Dossier had finally been conquered. I even allowed myself the luxury of sighing heartily while wiping my brow thinking "Whew! That was one heck of a journey! Soooo glad it's over with!"

     In my euphoric glee I e-mailed my placing agency to tell them that I received an e-mail that we had USCIS approval and that this coveted letter complete with shiny gold seal would be on the way to them soon. I checked my inbox hoping to get accolades and news about the next step....

BUT (insert record screech sound effect here)

     Apparently we need a home study addendum listing our boys specific special needs exactly as worded in the attached paragraph and something about an article or supplement 3 needing to be sent back to USCIS.

What?! Nooooo!!!

     There had to be some sort of mistake here. The placing agency had carefully reviewed my home study and approved it and USCIS had approved it as well but the Bulgarian side of the equation did not approve.

     It kind of felt to me like when you put money into a vending machine and enter in the correct code waiting expectantly for your bag of potato chips. Then they get stuck in the machine. You see them there but no amount of cursing and fist pounding on that machine is getting them to drop down into the dispenser tray. But... They're right there! You can almost taste them!

     My inner 2 year old is crying out in indignation because "I want them NOW!"

     I will do what is necessary and jump through more bureaucratic hoops and change wording for this and that. It is what is required and the grown up me understands these requirements are there for a reason.

     Somewhere very far away two little guys are waiting because of wording on a page. Both of their birthdays are next month. I can almost feel their little hands in mine and imagine them tucked into their beds. So to me the wording in a document seems trivial as more precious days of their lives tick away waiting and waiting...

All in God's perfect timing says my steadfast husband.
God give me grace because I want them home NOW!

Forever Changed...

     First I'd like to start by saying that I have never blogged before.  Heck, I never even kept a diary and I was positively awful at my journaling assignments in school.  Hopefully I'll turn over a new leaf with this endeavor.

     About a year ago I watched a documentary  called "Bulgaria's Abandoned Children".  My heart was forever broken and my life forever changed.  I absolutely could not believe the things I saw! I was in a state of disbelief! Did people know about these children? How could this be allowed to happen in our modern age?  But what could I do?

     The most haunting part of the documentary for me was at the very end. It was an interview with a man in a mental institution.  He had spent his entire life in orphanages. There was no fairytale happy ending for him,  just lots of flimsy wire fences and ramshackle outbuildings. Sadly this is the last stop for many special needs orphans. He talked about the fact that the thing he wished he had most of all was a mother.  "I want a mother. I don't want anything else."

     The childlike outcry of this grown man shattered my world.  I remembered my own lonely childhood and hoping beyond hope that my parents would want me. That they might change their minds and realize the error of their ways. The longing that I even now feel at times to have that family photo with parents that look just like me. For me to be that puzzle piece missing that makes the picture complete,  not just the tattered bent up piece that might not even belong in the box.

     I argued with myself. I made all of the excuses but in the end I knew that I couldn't forget that man and his life long dream of a family.  It echoed too deep in my own heart to ignore. I researched international adoption with my husband.  I found a website called Reece's Rainbow. I received an e-mail about waiting children in Bulgaria.  It was there that we found our boys.

     I hope to update our journey to them here and maybe include a little bit of my back story as well.  Currently we have USCIS approval and are waiting for trip one.  We hit a little snafu today which I will blog about later when I have the energy.

Look out world, we are Bulgaria Bound!

     We have set up a fundraising page on Reece's Rainbow to help defray the travel expenses to our boys.  If you feel inclined you could donate. I'd certainly appreciate it. After all, it takes a village! Thanks for taking the time to visit our little piece of cyber space.